Friday, December 29, 2006


Posted by ShoZu

Saturday, December 16, 2006

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Friday, December 15, 2006

Happy halloween

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New entry

Sai babaMoblog via Picoblogger

The lake

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Monday, November 01, 2004

Hello world

Just saw someone's blog and couldnt hold my temptation to create one for myself.
So 'Hello World !' to you
Do i really need to create this? Is this one of the hundreds hobbies that i get myself into oh-so-enthusiastically, only to abandon it before the flip of a calendar.
I am pretty sure i will chuck it out.. but let's enjoy it till it lasts :-)

So, would i like anyone to read these. NO... i dont think so. I've always opposed the idea of maintaining personal diaries. Why would anyone in the right frame of mind would like to pour out ones heart's content onto a piece of paper? Sounds pretty insane to me. Even more insane is the idea that i pour out ramblings of my mind onto a hard disk probably placed a thousand miles from my desk.

Then why would I want to write something that i dont want anyone to read? Beats me !
Then again, why am i wasting my time, writing this blog? Beats me again !!! But i think i like it :-)

Why do i like it? especially with a sense of guilt. Guilt of going against my rules, guilt for mocking my sibling on maintaining a personal diary and then protecting it more than her life, guilt for indulging into this sinful pleasure of writing a blog despite advocating against it throughout.

So back to the question.. why do i seem to like this especially when i am not an avid reader, leave alone writing? Am i trying out my hand as a writer? (Chuckles) I dont think so. I would die of boredom reading my own novel. Will save the world the torture in this lifetime. Maybe next life...
So is my brain begging me to capture a footprint, nail down my ideas and beliefs at this point in time and space. Maybe it is and maybe thats why it has pursuaded me to blog it all.

That was easy huh? Put the blame on your brain. Now how would this new hobby that i got myself into feel like a couple of years down the line? Would i 'EVER - ever' want to know what and how i felt on 01st Nov 2004 ? Hmm it would be interesting. Just like the class photograph where the my "oh so ordinary" self stood at the far end gazed at infinity with visibly disinterested eyes. What was i thinking? what value system did i believe in back then and what aspirations did i have. What dreams and what desires? Am i anywhere near what i wanted to be? Wish i had just scribbled it somewhere.

Speaking of childhood memories, all that i remember is what has been 'told' to me. There are just two incidents that i recollect as real recollections.. One, when i read about Christopher Columbus, i had a opened up the world atlas and peered over small unnamed islands in it, circled them in red pencil and made a promise to myself that i will dicover these islands and then give them my name, all the while praying that no-one else discovers them first.

The second, i recall planning to build a device, something like a binoculor.. you look at a far off place and press the red button and wolla u r there.

All other incidents were told to me by my family, my cousins. I am not sure if they are the correct interpretation of my feelings.

Have i found my island? Am i anywhere close to making my dream machine? sigh... some day

So having established the fact that a blog is an imprint of our brain on an external media. It could be a piece of paper, bytes on hard disk or graffiti ??? It is something like a photograph... that make little sense or value when u take it but makes immense sense when you look at it a few years from now. This analogy does makes sense, doesn't it? Every once time I come across the high school photo, standing at far end of the class photograph and smile at the change, the metamorphosis i have gone through. I still remember coming across one of my essays written in crooked handwriting about my house when i was in class 2 or 3. It brought back memories of my childhood and how and what i thought back then. How i imagined visiting far off places and how i made plans to 'discover' the unnamed numerous islands i found on the atlas before anyone else :-D. Have i changed a lot??

Well i think i am giving excuses to spending my time on something as inane as this .. WHATEVER

This feels like fun. Just the kind of freedom you have when splashing around in mud under monsoon showers without fearing being grounded, like the freedom of watching an 18 and above movie on the 18th birthday, am i drifting away...

So is this the freedom of expression that excites? hmm but i guess i express myself freely enough during my discussion with friends, during the text messages that are exchanged.. during the emails and yeah my frequent discussions with Him. So this is definitely not the freedom to express. Then what is it? Is it to use a stealth identity to revela the darker side. To let the deamon out, to let Dr. Jackal walk the streets??

Will see in subsequent blogs. Wont review it lest i shal edit it.
Change it to be politically correct, acceptable to all

Will leave it as is for now.. Will edit it later Maybe ... :-)